Three Worst Ways
by okh-eshivar
Summary: Sanji and Robin must cope with the loss of the rest of the crew during a Marine ambush. Sanji comforts and Robin fights with herself in a deathly internal battle. Please review. Bad at summaries ;


**A/N: This fic started when I typed these sentences without the intention of continuing it further: "Survive must I must survive can't I can't breathe It hurts So bad Hurts Can't must survive It hurts. It hurts so badly, I can barely breath." So yah, that's the basic synopsis. Please review!**

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I read in a book once that there are three most horrible ways to die. One, to be buried alive. Two, to drown. Three, to be hanged.

Buried alive, drowning, hanged.

The reason behind this theory is that these three methods are slow, painful and, most importantly, they make you crave life. They make you beg and plead for a second chance. They give you just enough time to cry your heart out, to scream your last prayer, and just enough time to realize that God did in fact answer you, and he said No. They have the power to plunge a person into true despair, true regret, true sorrow, just before they die.

That is the basis of suffering. NO one wants to suffer. No one.

Right now, I feel as if I am experiencing all three of those demons, all at once. I'm choking on the lump in my throat that refuses to budge. I'm drowning in an ocean of death, a sea of tears and blood and regret. I feel the invisible noose tighten round my neck, constricting my being, killing me oh so slowly. I'm clawing at an escaping soul, praying for the first time in my life for salvation, for hope, for a second chance. Not for me, but for the young girl in my arms, covered in that forbidding red liquid that has forever stained my existence. I'm crying desperately, yelling at her to keep her eyes open, to stay awake, to breathe. The tears roll off of my face and land on hers, leaving pale streaks cutting through the blood caked on her features.

"Nami-san….please…you have to stay awake…please…" I can hardly hear myself speak through the sharp ringing in my ears, and the fog in my mind. Everything is a blur. The only thing that registers to me is the suffocating cloud of gun smoke and bile that blankets the entire ship. I can't feel my right arm, or my left leg, but I couldn't care less at this point.

The bleeding orange baring girl coughs weakly, and blood spews from her mouth in a crimson fountain. I run my aching fingers gently through her stained hair and pull her closer. She's so cold…

"R…Robin, is…that you…?" Her voice is hoarse and painfully meek. I force myself to smile and look her straight in her hazel eyes. They are fogged over and near lifeless.

"Yes…Yes, it's me, I'm here. Just stay with me, Nami-san. Please…." I'm choking on my words, trying to hold back the waterfall of tears that I know is hidden just behind my eyelashes.

"It…hurts…Robin…I…I can't…move. Please…help me…" Tears begin to roll down the sides of her face involuntarily as pain and panic assault her from every direction. I feel so helpless. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm hurt, and I'm helpless. This is my fault. I did this to her. To them.

Oh, god, I'm so lost.

"I'm so tired…Robin…please…" She's pleading to me, and I can't do anything. I can't save her. Not now. No one can now. I can feel a hatred building in my chest, a self-loathing and an anger that is stronger than anything I have ever felt before. Why am I so weak? All I can do is pull her even closer to me, and continue to cry. Pathetic. I hold her head to my chest and press my lips to the top of her head.

"I'm sorry…I'm so, so sorry…I never meant for this to happen, I swear. Please don't die on me, Nami-san…I can't…"

Somehow, the dying girl managed to muster the strength to place a shaking hand on my cheek, and smile. A bright, Luffy-like smile.

A smile that makes me forget for a single second that she's going to die in my arms.

"Stupid…This wasn't your fault…" She says unbelievably clearly for her condition.

"Don't you dare…tell yourself that this was your fault…Robin." Her words faltered, and her hand fell from my cheek.

"No…No please no! Nami! Open your eyes! You can't die! You guys were the only people who ever accepted me despite my flaws! My past! Please, I don't want to be alone again! Nami!"

Beneath me, the Merry Go creaks sadly, and I swear I can hear the faithful ship crying out in despair. The mast lay in a splintered mess of wood a few yards away, and the upper deck was engulfed in a sea of flames, fueled by the tangerine trees that reside at its edge. The bittersweet smell of citrus fills the air. Underneath the mess of the mast I spot the vague outline of two swords sticking from the rubble, their blades shattered and in pieces around them. A body lay several feet away from them, bright green hair shining under the light of the fire. I shut my eyes tightly and shake my head in a vain attempt to drown my thoughts. In the opposite direction, the strawhat captain's body reside shattered in an uncountable number of melting ice chunks, torn apart and utterly lifeless.

I cling to the limp form of the navigator of the ship, and let the tears push themselves free. I let the curses roll off my tongue. I let the anger consume me.

A hole formed in my heart, and everything poured out.

In return, I was filled with an impossible amount of rage, and hatred. Hatred for myself, for the government, for the world. For the heartless God that dreamt up my miserable existence.

I am damaged beyond repair. Like this ship and its crew. Like the little reindeer doctor, whose bravery and courage was rewarded with a rain of seastone bullets from the countless warships that had surrounded us. Like the flamboyant shipwright, who now lay in a pile of contorted steel and bloody flesh. Like the lively skeleton, who had been thrown from the ship in an explosion, and the long-nosed sharpshooter, who was brutally riddled with bullets when he tried to save his drowning companion.

I am as dead as they are.

I gently place the dead girl's body onto the deck, stand, and take the necessary amount of steps to the edge of the ship. Below me, the sea tosses and churns with a rage that perhaps matched my own. I close my eyes, and step off into the air. My descent lasts an eternity before the freezing waters of the ocean engulf my falling body, devouring me hungrily.

It isn't until a pale, blonde figure cuts through the heaving surface of my grave that I realize that I never saw the ship's cook die.

His hand closes round my wrist, pulling me close, and suddenly I'm rushing back to the surface.

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**A/N: When I thought of the worst deaths and decided that should be drowning, buried alive, and hanging, I immediatle thought of Robin. Drowning, because of she can't swim and it's a constant risk, Buried, because she worked for Crocodile, and hanging because of her deathly connection to the World Government.**

**To be continued!!! Very rushed, so probably not too great, but what the hell. I've had this idea stuck in my head for a while. At first I was going to have Chopper be the other person who survives, but I REEEAAAALLY wanted to do the suicide scene, so I made it Sanji ^^;**

**Say tuned for the next chapter! **


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